Other Projects

There's a whole internet of Rampton out there.

Comedy writing

I have written a few sitcom scripts over the years for the BBC Writersroom scheme. I got quite far every time, but ultimately ended up concentrating on other things. In the reasonably unlikely scenario that you'd like to know more, I've written a bit about each one.

My scripts

Nobody Likes You

One day I will finish writing this. I started it ages ago, and have revived and abandoned it countless times. It's a funny, violent, fairly disgusting novel about growing up, with occasional cactus-based slapstick. I've written tens of thousands of words on it, and have an incredibly complex spreadsheet detailing the confusing chronology and unusual chapter structure. I'll fix those at some point.

YouTube

I have an infrequently-updated YouTube channel featuring the ongoing series "Ten Shit Jokes About...". While I'm in no danger of putting Zoella out of business, some of these have done alright. Metal Hammer ended up putting one of the videos (the metal jokes one, unsurprisingly) on their Facebook page, where it got 75,000 views.

Watch me

Great Jokes by Mike

This little web toy presents you with a randomly-selected contrived joke from an ever-growing, ever-more-challenging list. There are currently 271 really rough gags in there.

Great Jokes by Mike

Metal Band Name Generator

I made this a few years ago, based on something I'd done in print a very long time ago. It generates a band name and bio from a bunch of variables. It's silly!

Metal Band Name Generator

Medium

I write a monthly roundup of what I've been working on and host it on Medium. I might put it somewhere else – very few people read it, and I'm not a fan of Medium's paywall thing (open it in an incognito window to bypass that).

My stuff on Medium

The Octopig and 59 Worse Poems

I used to write a lot of poetry, mainly aimed at people who didn't like poetry. I was pretty good at it, but around the time friends of mine started getting book deals and doing really well I got a bit embarrassed by it – every so often, among the funny poems about monsters and food, there were one or two awkwardly heartfelt, angst-fuelled ones. I've still got them all tucked away digitally somewhere, and at some point might find something to do with them, but until that day they just exist in the form of this as-cheap-as-they-let-me-make-it Kindle book, which to be entirely honest I only did because my CV was very bare at the time. If you want it, email me and I'll send you it – don't waste your money. I've never seen a penny from it and doubt I ever will.

The Octopig on Amazon

I Swear, You're Famous

A few years ago, I spent a lot of my time interviewing celebrities, and decided I wanted a "thing" when I had my picture taken with them. Swearing next to them seemed funny, and the title I Swear, You're Famous really pleased me. It's not updated anywhere near as frequently as it once was, and a lot of the people in it are very obscure (some Next Big Things that turned out not to be), but if nothing else it's a horrifying look at how poorly I've aged.

I Swear, You're Famous

Every Shit You'll Ever Do

I was commissioned to write this for a pretty well-known website – stars with V, rhymes with Nice – based solely on the title. When I submitted it, they said it was actually all wrong for them so they wouldn't be running it. I'd spent a reasonable amount of time on it, so made it into a nice web experience. It was featured in both Web Curios and the b3ta newsletter.

Every Shit You'll Ever Do