There's a whole internet of Rampton out there.

HuffPost UK

I am a regular contributor to the HuffPost UK Parents section, which is fun. I had the vague thought when my daughter was born that I’d put any money I made by writing about being a father into an ISA for her. Sorry, small child, I need that cash! Get a job! My author page is here


I wrote hundreds of pieces for ShortList’s website (and six, count ‘em, six pieces for the magazine), spending the majority of 2018 in their office. I did a lot of entertainment, news and features for them, and I think I wrote some of the best stuff I’ve ever done for them. I’m very sad to see it shut down, and hope the archives stay up. My author page is here, or check out my greatest hits.

My best ShortList pieces


I’ve recently (March 2019) written some really fun bits for Metro, but none have come out yet.

MEL Magazine

I've only done one piece for MEL so far, but it was a lot of fun and extremely rude, and I hope to do more. Brace yourself .


I’ve written quite a few print pieces for Kerrang! over the years, and am now four years into my role as their official Kerrang Kerristmas quizmaster. I’ve also done quite a few fun pieces for their site, specialising in overthinking music videos and producing a vast amount of Blink-182 content. As luck would have it, there’s nothing on their site about the band Rampton Release Date, so searching for my surname gets you everything I’ve done.

My articles on

Mr Hyde

I wrote about all kinds of stuff for Mr Hyde, from sleep tech to graveyards to ghosts. I was their official advent calendar reviewer for several Christmases, got myself into a sorry state reviewing the strongest beer I could find, and generally tried to do as many pieces as possible for them that involved eating and drinking things.

The Guardian

I’ve only done two things for the Guardian so far, both on parenting for the Weekend magazine. I wrote about trying to swear less and striking the right balance with praise. One day I want a Guardian author page, damn it.


I spent about six months on the social team at ITV. High points included sending the Twitter into meltdown when two of One Direction did SoccerAid together, meeting Carol Vorderman, sharing a lift with Peter Andre and making a lot of GIFs of people getting injured.

Comedy Central

I spent a year or so as a digital content editor at Comedy Central, writing hundreds upon hundreds of articles about Friends. I possibly peaked careerwise with the quiz What's Under The Big Pile Of Leaves?

Gentleman's Journal

I am an occasional contributor to Gentleman’s Journal, the readers of which probably don’t realise what I look like. I've written about handsomeness, fathers and shopping for them.


I spent a year or so as a digital content editor at Beano Studios. I wrote and curated loads of content for kids, and made a poorly-received pilot for an educational web series, but my favourite project by far was Little Squelchy Jokes, corny gags delivered by sentient blobs. I loved them. Nobody else seemed to.

Little Squelchy Jokes

And more...

I’ve written for plenty of magazines and websites that have gone to the great pulping house in the sky. I was the deputy editor of Front for a few years, writing hundreds of features, commissioning a vast network of freelancers and publishing some awful gags. I wrote several big features for FHM and a really fun Adele cover story for the NME. I wrote some fun stuff for Coach and Unbound and one thing for Men's Health (which is still going), and one thing for Vice (which is also still going). I was a sub-editor for a while, and worked at Men's Health, The Mirror, Spear's, Cyclist and Jamie.

Agency Work

I have produced work for Shortlist Family, Hangar Seven, Zone, Cedar and Studio Sixty Billion, for brands including Bridgestone, Brita, Currys PC World and Tesco.